Saturday 26 April 2014

26th April Sat 2014

The terror firmly in place - can hardly breathe. Fortunately had a singing lesson yesterday which got me through a bunch of gasping and taught me more techniques for managing. Ridiculous.
I'm not that insecure about the work, just looked at the photos and its respectable enough. The terror arises from that horror of being forced centre stage and shot at. Though no one gives a flying and anyway, who'd bother to attack?
-Aint rational though. Memory of having to take Kitaj's hand to bring him from the gallery office into the fray, he was so scared. Poor old boy. Assailed by many sad memories. 

Friday 18 April 2014

19th April 2014 Sat

Spent yesterday making posters for my show - cutting up old catalogues, sticking down images, writing in ink around the image- they look like a poor 6th form project and today I think I may not put them up. Not that it matters; Im approaching the people I want to come. I suppose the hope is that a passing stranger may find 6th form projects irresistable. Sigh.
In brief, the terror begins... The Terror is what Peter Clossick calls the solo show experience. Its not rational.
Absolutely no work being done though Im cleaning the studio in patches, going through old drawings, trying to find out where I am. 

Tuesday 8 April 2014

08 04 2014 Tuesday

Finally; a day in the studio:) Late start, early finish, long lunch and a coffee break but back in the space and generally trying to get it workable again. Half finished bits everywhere, messy.
Yesterdays drawing OK too, new model - Hugue - nice shape, not afraid to use it expressively, capable of holding a pose. Liked all my drawings. Think I really have turned a corner with drawing. Went out on Sunday to do some landscape and was pleased with those too.
Dont see them as an end in themselves though and uncertain where to take them. For the moment Im content to be relatively happy. After all those wasted years, doing the same stuff over and over, its a relief to feel Im coming to life.

Friday 4 April 2014

4th april 2014 friday

Health recovered tho asthmaticy, whatever ailed me last year is back. Gasp gasp.
Not been in studio but have hung show - well enough, thanks to R and A and the staff at the Casino who all had rather good ideas.
Have printed invites and am hand-writing them.
Have facebooked invites. Will email others and hand deliver locally.
No drawing, no painting, no fun. Sigh.