Very charmed by the thought that as Christianity has failed both as a state religion and a personal ethos, paganism is returning. The tree is worshiped rather than the man on it. And so on, many thoughts - mostly around the need to sacralise.
Off to Carcassonne for the day, need to let the paint settle.
Covering canvas seems to be all I'm good for - but the more gets covered the richer the possibilities. The Last Supper - or whatever it is - is shaping up, if slowly. The photos of it make me doubt my vocation.
Doc says my cough and breathless ness is a crise d'asthma and has given heavy doses of cortisone. You have to trust someone and for all he's a boy child he must have been trained so I'm complying. Which is me telling myself it's all right to feel this weird. Got to studio for 9.00am and had to stop at 10.00 knackered, despite this day is clear and entirely devoted to studio work. Coffee, lots of - and better luck later. Getting fed up with the meal I'm painting - let it be done, with all its flaws.
and one isn't.
Actually working on another painting which I seem to have not photographed. Well, it's got a long way to go and is confusing me a lot. More on that as and when.
Putting off the big picture that I actually want to do, but is a bit scarey.
Got to Carcassonne yesterday - came back rejoicing, with 6 100 x 100 canvases and 3 80 x 80. Was thinking how long it'll take to gesso them properly but realised that that is part of the engagement with the canvas, must be done by me.
Guests all gone, an oasis of time hoving up.
This little scene was over Bobs shoulder as I tried to snap him last night - last supper or what?? Charmed by it and its structure and can feel a new testament series arriving. Below, things I'm fiddling with. Backs gone so in corset, foot bandaged - I'm lucky some bits of me of working.
This encouragement has seen me painting furiously since, or at least trying to finish the little ones about death that are lying about.
Can now afford some big canvases. Going shopping for them on Saturday.
Been dipping in and out. Trying to come to grips with what's been done and why. Quite captivated by a couple and again, don't know why. Lala. Rather occupied with arrival of guests and my own need for order, which has been drowning for a while.
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