23 07 2024

 Nature diary got enough entries for July so have turned with enthusiasm to writing my long-promised book. So enjoying it!! Hard though, and word count tragic. I'II be dead before its finished; ironically. Touching up latest painting cautiously in passing.  

18 07 2024

 Rather pleased with this, after the recent obsession with Adorno - though it fits no bill nor resolves anything, merely one idea being abandoned after another leaves a negative trace. 

Early morning vision of a squirrel. 

Coming to grips, a tiny tiny tiny bit, with the Gaza picture.

14 07 2024

baby redstart, flew into studio and too clueless to get out. But then he did so this may stay unfinished

 

13 07 2024

Dont know the name of this flower but loved it as a kid so in keeping with my remit have to draw it; boring. Will do what I can and stop.

Was so pleased with my big black beetle and managed to splatter it with pink paint, which has ruined it for me... bah.

 It's the season: adolescent birds fly in and cant get out. Yesterday morning was trying to get this redstart out, eventually successfully though covered in cobwebs. One of my favourite birds so will have a go at him/her today.

Having cancelled my autumn tour - Oxford residency, German conference - I'm focusing more. Got myself out of going by hearing Stafford say, profit from my mistakes; since all he ever wanted was to 'stay put' [ listed as his hobby on Whos Who] I can get that. 

But what else? What were his mistakes?

09 07 2024

Able to hit the studio - Toms gone (alas) Have been interrupted by Daniel who persists in not going away - I was fairly vile so suspect he'll go elsewhere for help next time. He's overstayed by 11 days now and says he MAY leave next week. How did I fall into this?? Bob warned me and is rather smug.

There are two more guests here but so far not too disruptive. Friends of friends. Next to arrive is Bobs family and we like them.

The trouble is, I work from home and I don't have a protective team.

Have decided - and announced- I wont be taking up the Oxford residency, nor going to the conference in Berlin. Terribly miserable about it. Feels like acknowledging my life is over...
 

08 07 2024

 I've categorised this as a dead mouse but I guess it could be a baby rat, who knows... and I can't bear to draw the sand martin found in the street in a cloudburst, drowning and knocked out of its nest. Brought it in, dried it out, fed it. It made it through the night and seemed anxious to fly away so I hurled it from the studio with a prayer - this time of year as heart-breaking as any other. 

05 07 2024

 Spent my birthday, yesterday, making sandwiches - which was a great pleasure, calming and engaging. Had a v long bath and then a party. Which went well, Bob hosting and caring for the guests and musicians, while I sat behind a gate with Jamsie steadily drinking. Nice.

Woke up today to a change of game in the UK - Tories out, uncertain ones in - and a letter asking to use my portrait for the cover of a feschgrifft which should probably remain unnamed as it might be a surprise to the honoured one. Pleased and surprised. Did it even look like him??