Fri Feb 8th 2013

Woke up thinking, what is the point of reproducing doodles, scribbly personal stuff? Serious talk with self about the authenticity of the response to the nude, a transference between me and model leaving its trace. Which is not unintelligible.
Decided over (healthy) breakfast to change but once in the studio could see what the issues were and they weren't the nature of the marks, not all anyway. Fiddled and changed stuff. Think now its nearly done though hesitate to say so - that was quick. 

Will leave.

Had huge lunch. This notion of fuel is sound and I don't seem to be putting on weight. Its snowing so will leave after-lunch walk till later in the hope that it stops.

Need to get back to Heron and Ophelia but may just draw. 

7th Feb Thurs 2013

Happily hammering away, pausing for housework, visit to french friend, shopping - by dint of a 6.00 am start and a 7 pm stop, managed to cover a lot of canvas. Taking off more paint than Im putting on.

 Not asking any - many - questions, just waiting to see what'll happen.

For all this is a work-in-progress, bits are OK.

Knackered though.

feb 6th Tues 2013

Meant to go on the afternoon bus to Limoux to buy linseed and turps and  planned to spend the morning drawing so it would be easy to leave. Filthy day; wet, windy cold. Decided not to go to Limoux and have been happily painting on the golden calf, its flowing and a pleasure. Referencing Kitaj in my head.Makes it feel possible to complete and not muddy.
In they olden days it was customary to illustrate biblical themes with studies done from life and that's what I'm doing - though the market has altered - Very very tempted to put a bar code stripe on the plinth of the calf. Resist, resist!

Feb 5th Tuesday 2013

hot chocolate break while I try and get my thoughts into order. Stymied on the heron/ophelia painting because it already does what I want it to do as just a turpsy sketch; why go further? Except its not a painting [what is a painting, etc etc ]and I don't have enough info to develop it. The heron, for instance. I saw it, it made me gasp, I will never forget the shape of its head and bill and neck and bow but I didn't really clock the tail or wings, beyond the fact that there didn't seem to be any as it was gliding with its wings tucked in. Beautiful. So I looked it up and it seems that it was a great blue heron - the orange bill occurs briefly in the breeding season. And they don't exist in Europe, let alone in S France where I saw it, unmistakably.

The other painting I'm on is about the golden calf. Such a nice metaphor for that which is not other than material. (I'm avoiding the word spiritual here) Used it before in the painting  4 nudes, their angels and an idol which, possibly in retrospect, I see as a transference of desire. Thinking more, remembering Poussin - who was my bugbear at college - I've painted a sweet little golden calf and now I'm dotting the surround with copies of life drawings. 

Et voila? So what?

-press on and find out, I suppose.

Monday Feb 4th 2013

Had a clever thought first thing. Large breakfast - banana and smoked meat and large coffee - followed by another breakfast of espresso and pastry, the large sort with creme and chocolate, in the cafe. Thought if I charged up with sugars and fats I'd maybe have some energy for the work and indeed, drawing was a doddle. Felt confident and capable and capably drew, enjoying the process and the marks I made.
Thought I wouldn't need to eat again for weeks but afterwards heard myself inviting Kat in for a boiled egg as we left the MJC. So, salad, boiled eggs, olives, frommage frais with strawberries.
Then sat down and drew the three postcards for the RCA Secret show, which had to go today to get there in time. No problem; capable, confident, neatly done. (Mothers sunglasses, fathers spectacles, my last glasses) Posted... walked to catch the twilight, downriver, lovely.
Havent set foot in the studio nor do I plan to - dinner then I think a DVD or something.
Happy to bed and deal with the new paintings tomorrow, with as little fuss as possible.
 Ferren, such a good model. Hope they're OK. Hes 83 now, seems more nimble and pliable than me. Hope theres something I can work with amongst them.

Later scanned some; still not evaluating.

 

Sunday 3rd Feb 2013

 Don't know whether to laugh or cry. Will turn to wall and move on.

Drawing tomorrow, rumours of a male model, possibly Ferren.

Need to get back to roots - find some solid drawing and work with it. Enough fanciful whatnot.

 

 

Feb 1st Friday 2013

Not much to show for a couple of weeks intensive work...it does have a sinister charm though and the others are shaping up as a result. Have to get a functioning camera soon, this little Fecos really isn't as bad as it looks:) It is inaccurate though - the Fecos are supposed to have every inch of flesh covered up. Though those that follow the band can wear what they like, they're just not Fecos (which is Occitan for carnivaliste.)
       Was I born pedantic??