04 01 2026

 Only 1,000 words to go- been writing a chapter for Staffords festschrift which is both impossibly hard and occasionally a surprising pleasure. Many anxieties. 

First that springs to mind is that l am not a writer. The piece is clunky and chichi and will have to have lots of attention before it goes out. Second is that combing my memories is distressing.

And my planned book is receding; further research, extensive and deep (ha!)  reveals that my approach is not that original. Who's it for? Not longer interested.

Embracing failure, wahey! V liberating. 

27 12 2025

Life drawing yesterday, tremendous model who was never introduced so don't know her name - packed space and overheated so had the emerging asthma attack. Which rapidly became panic as I realised I didn't have a puffer with me.

Galloped home. Door locked and no sign of Bob. Major problem. I rang the doorbell and he appeared, finally, and I got the stuff. Lived. Went back...

Hate that they do these 3 min poses, its like a speed competition. Did one 40 min but still crap!! Horrible, waiting for some ideas to emerge from the gloom.
 

23 12 2025

 Did some nature morte drawing on sunday...though why is another issue. I used pen and ink on hahnemuhle 300gm and expected that to be fun-  it wasn't, had to fight the paper every inch and wasnt happy.

Pleasant time with O-B, Thomas and Rudy, casual art-talk. In the course of holding-forth realised that women painters are concerned with the pain of being embodied. 

23 11 2025

I'm a human photoshop now... Bev wanted these dinky pansies sans ashtray and cigarette. Rather sad thing to do, working over someone elses painting, especially as the original artist clearly didn't smoke (cigarette upside down) so it was tender souvenir - pansies, the thought, with a rose bud for emerging love - l was going to make the vase more suitable and bung in some other flowers but decided to leave well alone. Except to knock back some of the white highlights.

er, that's it. 

 

19 11 2025

 drawings from yesterday - there are many more, since the few minute practice reigns. (I don't know why, its supposed to 'loosen you up'.  I persist tense.)

Lots going on, in general. Bobs ill-health is much worse. Readjustments needed for us both.

05 11 2025

Despite swearing never to join a drawing group again, I returned yesterday morning. Can't remember why - just the need for quiet reflection, perhaps - very glad I did. Previous engagement annulled by the fact the fussy brits have gone; apart from an American and a Norwegian everyone there was French.  

 You wouldn't know it to look at this drawing but Boris the model was excellent and presented several gentle challenges. 

Plan to spend today overpainting some oils, after a little mound of paperwork is addressed. Joy.

21 10 2025

 A nice snap of Ian, from our unassailable days. A performance in gallery 291. Photo featuring Julia Claxton and the Virgin Mary who was about to break into a falsetto misrendering of Panis Angelicus. 

Still trying to clear out art store.