Popped into studio twice and straight out again - not working really agrees with me, feel calm and able and generally well. Wonder what comes first, the chaos of being me that leads to painting or the painting that leads to the C of B M? Should I test that by seeing how long I can stay away and what happens?
Still thinking, anyway.
1. vellum nude. Need to stitch it to a large light shade. This will back light it and bring that chilling resonance of the death camps, the uses the Nazis put human skin to. First, need to get the drawing right - central area, tummy, really doesn't work. Then need more incisions, more charcoal, then a turpsy wash using the iridescent paint.
2. Weeping woman. Become really interested in this. The only weeping women pix I can think of are kitsch virgins from the Spanish churches, catholic encouragement to women to bear sorrows silently. Piccassos Weeping Woman more fraught. Lichenstien, welling tears in cartoon strips.
Then what? I can nearly 'see' the pic. Have cut lots of faces out of magazines after realising that I must not tell a story - for instance, if the woman is old than she can be seen to experience whatever crap life has thrown- if shes black, she is perforce oppressed - but magazine pictures of young women of startling neutrality welling up with tears might do me.
Can I avoid kitsch? Weeping urchin-type Italian nonsense?
Still thinking.
3. Drawing. Stuarts automatic, evasive, furtive drawing. hmm.
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