Drawing yesterday, decided that it wasnt worth the candle and to give up. I'd got white paper and a drawing pen thing - a relic of Simon - no chance of anything other than simple mark-making. I ended up cross-hatching, for ferks sake. Miserable.
Spent time in the afternoon on Skype with Toby C., who is a wise man nowadays and helped a great deal. We have a deal in common, being self-motivated, un valued and poor. Though I think Tobes is rather famous which I think would be nice.
When I looked again at the drawings they were still crap - ! - but honest enough. Rediscover the basics, I guess, though I'd rather not bother.
Suddenly able to paint this morning though not particularly well. This series, the inherited ones, are VANITAS. Maybe find a way to incorporate skulls. Certainly got the egg-timer things, whatertheycalled, sand glasses?
Phone call from the organisers of Aa S which was flattering - and a secret so probably not for blogging in case anyone is actually looking. Cheered me up.
And an afternoon with Philippe who says the way through this tristesse is to use the objects so that they continue being a part of the world and cease to be relics. Fair point.
...Up again against the probable fact that Im just not good enough. Does anyone ever get through that, except the natural born genius?
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