31 05 2018 Thursday

 Ruminating on Vincent last night - Im reading the True Story of Van Gogh's Ear - I hadn't realised how playful he could be- for example the painting of the 2 herrings, herring being slang for gendarme and him enjoying how that annoyed them.
                   Not many other examples, I must confess.
Then I saw this face in that picture...portrait of someone sleeping or dead? Or just an unconscious accident? Or none of the above.
Nice though. Book excellent BTW

No work done of course, have a houseful arriving shortly. Must go and prepare lunch.

30 05 2018

Housework, over many houses; the cyberneticians arrive tomorrow. Excited.Only the bathrooms left to clean.
Feels rather good, all this therapy. Have found long-lost stuff. Been forced to turn out the archive room but am avoiding looking at my things, ugh, maybe time for a burning?

Soooooooo missing my dog.

27 05 2018

Lily-the-dog died yesterday after a couple of days of not walking or eating. We kept a care rota so people were with her, she wasn't scared, didn't have to drag herself about to find someone.

Yesterdays 4.00 o'clock afternoon shift was me taking over from Bob, who left to go to the field, and Ian who just turned up. She died at 10 past.

I write this because of the weirdness that happened...

She was trying to raise her head and having trouble breathing. I put a pillow under her head. Ian said that made it harder to breathe. I took it away. She continued to try and lift her head so I put it back - she tried to raise it higher. She seemed to be looking at something.

She'd had cataracts for years and was virtually blind.

I asked her what she was looking at, while stroking her head. She turned to me and looked me straight in the eyes.

Her eyes were totally brown. Smallish pupil (we were in sunlight by the back door) but the irises the colour of toffee, a young conker. Slightly reddish brown, but  perfectly clear, perfectly well.

I was gaping with astonishment when they silvered over as she threw back her head and died.

Very haunting, those eyes.

21 05 2018

Had a bit of a go at the saints I'm working on yesterday - to small effect - and thought I was dreaming this morning when I switched on Radio Culture just after 6.00. A  woman was talking about painting saints. I was transfixed.... turned out she was talking about Zubaran. He used monochrome to paint religious, monks and that, colour for saints. His female saints transcend everything and are serene, looking to their heavenly reward. His males' faces express the struggle between intellectual and spiritual forces.
Off to look up Zubaran

19 05 2018

By the time I'd got the rental house ready for todays guests, spent time with Philippe (yesterday), done the ironing and generally floated about, nothing has been done. Oh, sent off the Magrie application. Talk about triumph of optimism over experience...

16 05 2018

 pretty watercolour of Leon and finished 6th xtintion pic. Studio time a plenty looming, barring unexpectednesses.

14 05 2018

Went drawing this morning, mostly for the pleasure of two uninterrupted hours. Haven't looked at the results but not holding my breath. Young Leon was modeling, eleven artists there, nice buzz. Got some time in studio yesterday - feeling rather brisk, in general. Plans are formulating.

12 05 2018 sat

 Really finished now, honest, after realising I didn't like the mouths and getting rid of them. I like the subtle composition and am fed up with fiddling. This thing below been lying around for years too, thought I'd finished it but now sure I have. Both of them LOOK good. Hey ho for the aesthetic.

This as a result of watching myself looking at other peoples work at the Artistes a Suivre = looked at several artists, more than I could take. Surprisingly helpful. Other people manage to take themselves seriously without sounding like prats, to explain what they are aiming for.

My two best mates at college were variously amazingly lucid and completely incoherent. Loved them both. Both did well, amazingly well. Proper careers. Rather wish I'd  engaged more with debate instead of giggling.

09 05 2018

Don't think these too are as chalky as they look here that's just the light on the varnishes - will pass when dryer, I hope.

So a good few days.

Plus two 6thXtinction pix on the go and five saints - well, one and four shepherds.

Today 5 guests arrive. But the trick is to carry on the thinking in your head and daub when you can.

03 05 2018 Thurs

Might be done - might not . Same for another 2. Desperate to start finishing things, cant even finish photocopying cartoon book. Though I did get delayed by running out of ink.

01 05 2018

La, the year is wizzing past... brutalised the three pix on the go yesterday and spent a lot of time with them so feeling more in touch. Decided to limit my horizons and achieve small goals. Even if they're not very interesting.

So first up; photocopy entire cartoon book so the june 1st FOCOF will be able to read it without messing with the originals. That'll take forever.