31 12 2019

Here's Gracie hard at work shifting dust from the studio, bless her - pretty much done now, just needs a certain reorganisation and scrubbing. Would have liked to be getting on with that - BUT off to St F to deal with rogue tenants of absent friends. Better relax, pointless kicking against the traces. Party tonight, holiday tomorrow, lalala.

29 12 2019

Studio cleaning continues, very very slowly. Breathing a bitch. Am I suffering for art or real estate? Binned all the rolls of old drawings I could find, going back years - more to do - I don't need anything that is finished - or is just bad. Some of them got saved because they are big bits of nice paper and I thought to work on the back. But I haven't. They can go, I won't live long enough to do them.

Pluses; my book is selling. Small regular trickles with odd lurches (= seven on xmas eve, whats that about?) Most cheering though riches do not follow.

28 12 2019

Terribly pleased with myself for having had an actual idea. Been trying to pull I have measured out my life in blister packs with the double sided notion of top-of-tree life and immediate death.
Looks quite easy now I've set it out.
Studio allegedly returned to me tomorrow. Cleaning begins in earnest Monday.

23 12 2019

Started hoovering the first studio today, gasp gasp, when the team arrived to complete the plastering on the second. So I stopped. Been struggling for breath ever since though this may be emotional rather than dust asthma - when they told me they'd finished (bar the painting) was surprisingly close to tears. A few puffs of stuff did some good though we then went to a house full of dogs which made it worse again.

20/12/2019

No studio, no work done. I'm short tempered and drinking more than usual. What really upsets me is there is no sense of pictures clamoring to get out, it feels that only happens at the end of a brush nowadays. Curious, always though it happened in my head. Bad nightmares... unspecified secret killings waiting to be discovered.

16 12 2019

Back from Bordeaux. Did no drawing. Saw a couple of nice pix in the one open museum, the beaux arts, Titians Tarquin and Lucrecia, Delacroixs Greece on the ruins of Missolongi - a handful of Redons. All decent work, nothing shattering.
Studio still out of bounds. Getting my head around setting up a temporary space somewhere but it would have to be in no 11 where an irascible Ian is currently living. Don't think either of us would enjoy such close quarters but it might come to it. Will take a look after I've dealt with the phenomenal amount of paperwork that arrives after a short break.

09 12 2019

Since the studio has been out of bounds I'm getting more and more neurotic symptoms - eczema, heartburn, chest pains, nightmares, breathlessness.
I may just be ill, of course, but I don't think so.
Oh ... looked in at the gallery today. Called in by R as I was passing, actually. Another artist there wanted to talk with me. He touched his heart and said he was totally subjugated (in french) and he bowed. I was too embarrassed to be anything other than embarrassed and now I think I'm pleased/ -and embarrassed.

06 12 2019

Today was a day off for the workmen and a day I had planned to spend in the studio. But the ceiling over the stairs fell in and the other entrance is blocked by builders stuff;  and I cant get there.
I can take a hint.

04 12 2019

Either been painting furiously or being prevented. Right now the studio ceiling is being insulated and there is no chance of doing a thing until its finished. However my study has been restored to me - that had become hors de combat as another space was insulated - so joy joy I can catch up with the paperwork.
Quite content though. Nothing pressing, angst having a holiday.