08 09 2026

 Off to assess the damage to the London house tomorrow - v frightening - thence to a birthday conference for my dads 100th., Manchester Uni.

I was asked to bring books to flog and of course can't, luggage being luggage - even if I could afford it I haven't the strength to carry it. And non of the conferees will be able to carry books in their return luggage. Allenna suggested a flyer - she's so clever - 

AI did it because I hadn't a clue, and it does the job. 

Conferees can go home and choose books at their leisure. 

And no trees are abused as its print on demand. 

Can't help thinking Stafford would be OK with that.

Been cleaning brushes and the like, ready to hit the ground running when I get back. 

(Watch this space, hahahahaha.)

06 09 2026

 Been restoring an old pic dated 1983. It was Ians, I gave it to him; he died under it. 

Then it started to grow mould.

Washed, scrubbed, sprayed with vinegar - oil paint is fantastic, lasts forever. Even when it homes monocellular fungi. 

Beastly hot (fires locally, three nights of fire fighting) Spent a chunk of today in the bath, reading.

05 09 2026

 The ink is rather good, slightly viscous and nicely transparent. Gave half to Bieke. 

Otherwise, Im dibbling at ongoing things, some of which have been ongoing for a very long time. 

Trying to keep travel panic under control. London house still sealed up, not allowed in- getting a sofa hopping agenda organised and worried that I'II fall apart. Or it might all be terrific fun :)

Took this snap of a geckko last night and this morning when I opened the balcony door, it fell on my head. 

02 09 2026

 Bieke was kind enough to bring me some walnuts in shells, so Ive been mostly turning them into ink. Quite nice therapy.

Getting worried about the London trip now, the house there is still closed as a dangerous structure and though a friendly artist has offered his spare room I'm concerned that my energy wont hold up to the inevitable rigours. 

Dentist this morning, replacing fallen filling. He often clarifies things.

31 08 2026

Chronos devouring his son, signed so it must be finished - a few more odd  ones nearly done.
 

28 08 2026

suddenly know where Im going with this which is more than can be said for tonights life drawing, Jen and Karin modelling. 

Fairly stressed here due to collapse of London house, more news when I can face it.

 

16 08 2026

 Galloping on! No photos, nothing finished, pleased with myself.

Oh dear.

11 08 2026

 

Taken an age to get this done. The consultant is dictating a letter to my doctor regarding the condition of my heart.

He did this looking straight at me and flickering to the dictating machine, so I have his eyes off in several directions which was the hard bit. He was stone-still except for the eye movements. He always wears a mask. Maybe he has no teeth; a goatee?  Much evasion.

Plus this penile handle which he grasps with both hands. Whole experience weird, especially as the assistant who types it up was supposed to do it first thing the next morning and email to my people, and didn't. 

Pleased though. That's #8 of the rolling death set.

10 08 2026

 Amazingly, back at work. Which actually means fiddling with a drawing. Having walls refreshed in the living room (plaster stripped off, underlying stones pointed) so dust horrendous and I cant breathe it in - so all basic domestic parts of the house out of bounds for me :)

Should have thought of this years ago. But I guess you can only pull it off once. 

9 08 2026

 Set foot in studio, aircon on low, drawing on day bed... well, its something!! Plan to return to work tomorrow having shaken off the tristresse of family loss.

Just had an online interview with Marcus Carney in the course of which the nature and evocation of creativity came up. Dammit, now its over Im thinking more thoughts; none of which matter, of course. What is produced, how, and where it goes- pragmatic thoughts - more useful than the nature- of stuff.

l'esprit d'escalier rollin along

04 08 2026

 Storm has broken the weather, pro tem - more small swifts and house martins dead on pavements, thought the heat was killing them but now its the rain.

More drops of blood on my balcony terrace too.

On the plus side, my brother and his two boys are arriving. Bobs nephew and niece are charming. Next few days will be fun :)

Needless to say, no work done.

01 08 2026

 Made it though July, hurrah - now finding the splendid blind over the big vellux makes the first studio - the one with air con - too dark to paint in. lalala.

So did some drawing over the latest Hommage. Rather worrying as its a portrait of my heart consultant who is veryhmm very apparent. He has long hair worn loose and always wears a mask, anyone who knows him will know him. 

Can't be helped, I guess. Def part of the entropy-and-death ness of it all. Don't suppose he'd care, should he ever see it -

31 07 2026

 Nothing achieved except the awful works-in-progress turned to the wall. BUT adorable Norbert came round and fitted a blind over the velux which will make working a deal easier if I ever get to it.

Got visitors, young and opinionated in the right way. Been touring and will continue for a while.

24 07 2026

 Woke bright and early and cool, praise be - so straight to studio before the day becomes too hot.

-Im trying to draw the next in the Hommage a Kitaj series and so looked for photos of the others so that there should be a level of consistency in format. Couldnt find any on line. Then it dawned on me that the portfolio with them in was next to me in the studio...

will photograph the lot when this ones done. Maybe.

22 07 2026

 What with not sleeping - sweaty heat - and not breathing - dust, smoke, what-have you - nothing is being achieved. A bit of fiction reading in front of a fan, lots of dozing.

And lying in a cool bath, that's such a grace. Otherwise irritable, mecontent, judgemental... on the plus side, a sudden call from the heart surgeon to see him tomorrow evening which I hope will enable the change of meds. necessary for a balanced body. Coupled with a Monday morning RDV with doctor, joy joy, should get sorted.

 

16 07 2026

 Spending time in the studio because its got the aircon unit installed - and cleaning up. Resolved to finish scanning press books, as the basis for a biography of sorts. My brother Steves death has shown that memories are inaccurate and transitory and while this doesn't particularly matter, I don't think, Id rather get stuff down while I can remember it.

12 07 2026

 Down to 30 and a decently chill wind. Walked! Easily if slowly. So it was the heat rather than any other number of possible maladies that have hindered me.

Apropos; my hitherto agreeable dentist has introduced me to the idea that I'm ill.  I knew that of course but only speculatively - a doc tells you something, gives you more pills, hey ho.

Dr B pointed out I have heart disease and lung disease. Had I kind-of taken this on board earlier I would act differently. For instance, my massive hypertension could be redeemed to an extent by meditation. Regular exercise is a real healer. Attention to diet... oh lordy, time to treat myself as a patient and act accordingly.

Studio a mess, plan is to turn current work to walls and clean up. When current work dry, use glazes to get some sense into them.

On the plus side, three of my paintings are on the walls here: one in bedroom, one here in study, one downstairs in living room. I LIKE ALL THREE. 

 

11 07 2026

 Got in a fairly long day yesterday - when I understood everything Ive been working on is rubbish, and my attempts to change this were disastrous. Need to change my success criteria? How do I know if something works, especially as my aim is to overthrow what is known.?

Oh well. Dentist this morning. Can only get better,

06 07 2026

Half baked work... its too hot to do much, which is fine by me. No burning need to continue as yet. Signs and portents ominous (though when are they ever not -)  drops of blood on the balcony this morning and blood smeared on the walls. Yesterday, a drowned mouse in the water butt. 

 

28 06 2026

...still at it, all is possible with aircon though would very much like blinds for the velux - sun beats in. 

Don't like having to keep windows and shutters shut, feel too remote from the world. 

But this will pass and lord help us, there may come a time when we think these days were heaven.