15 dec 2013 sunday

With all this free time, what happens? Yesterday largely squandered on friends, the day before on housework. The housework did reveal the Russell Hoban book, The Lion of Boaz-Jachin and Jachin-Boaz; haven't read it for many years and  re-read as I remember enjoying it. Still did though in these days of magical realism it seems a little slight - a gentle fairy story. No, better than that - and I was pleased by the power Hoban allows drawing and sculpture and indeed map-making. No use in my lion painting however. It did get a few hours attention yesterday under artificial light. Its working out OK, today I think human hand(s) get put in. Glasses? If its a self-portrait it should have them. Then the lion becomes a parody?

11/12/13

Finished! -And out of studio, where Ive started on the self-portrait as lion. Wanted to recapture - and understand - the strange sensation of being me and not-me, sitting under a mane and being animal and incorruptible that l experienced during the medical  terrors recently. It was like a shield. Clothed in protective armour.
Picture is twice life size and imposing which (so far) has stopped it looking too daft. The cowardly lion form the W of O is there but it must be brave and fearless.
Tomorrow is Thursday, household day. Friday through to Weds good  to paint.

Framed - in a proper big frame - my Greenwich expo poster. Felt outrageously egocentric.

10/12/13

...taken a lot out, wrapped it in white, will attack with lustre paint when dry. Much happier about it. Maybe the trick is not to hang on - something doesn't work, trash it and find another route to completion that is um, as yet unknown.
Woke early feeling v positive and thought that all I have to go on are visual clues, the thinkie stuff is inbetween times. Mostly before and after. Set about looking closely at things. Most helpful - not that its actually helped, but its given me a great deal of pleasure:)

Later; finished painting at 7.00 when I thought the thing was finished, (but of course unsure.) Watched it for a while; the refrain, find the key playing in my head. It sat there as I ate dinner, looked at mail and fb, then  took the dog out for a late walk. Sniggering at the Freudian overtones of The Key, what key, to what?
In the dark by the river, something glinted.... yup, there it was. Can't help laughing. Will take it to the town hall tomorrow, maybe its important. Certainly to someone. And will keep looking.

Ghesso'd 2 canvases, need more coats before I can start on the Twilight painting. Can however start on the Self portrait as Lion that sustained me during the medical exams recently. Tomorrow

monday 9th dec 2013

I know I do moan but after this crappy day have just eaten a whole bar of chocolate and some haribo rabbits, so comparitively cheerful:)

90% of my time is spent preparing for the 10% that fleetingly goes well. It isnt good.

Monday so the morning drawing, Atmo modelling very well. Half way through the morning was struck by the thought that I was learning nothing and that my whole agenda about humans and their characteristics was jammed stuck. Not a helpful thought. Ploughed on with increasing despair; nothing even pretty. Thought maybe I was being caught up again with appearances and took a lot of trouble to overcome the tyranny of the surface pattern. Results at best mediocre.

Only interruption this afternoon was John M coming round to take my bank details to  pay me for the 15 little pictures he bought on Sunday. Perhaps I should spend some? Then I'd have an idea what its all for - yeah, right.
So went for a walk and it was good though my difficulties unresolved. Maybe I will hit the studio after dinner. The ex- Thetis picture is reaching watershed crise time, where it'll get scrapped off and junked if it doesn't start getting better soon. Should turn it to the wall and get on with the next but I can hear it sniggering...

Dec 8th Sunday

 Slowly, slowly... changed Achilles shield into a scallop shell, tethered the cherubs to Thetis. No doubt will know why some day. And in the meantime have found a picture of mine dated 1972, i.e. over 50 years ago. Don't seem to have moved along much. Sigh.

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6th dec 2013 friday

Doubt and indecision are seeping back into my life... got in a days work, minus interuptions. Coffee, lunch and preparing dinner. Fiddling, is all; on the former Thetis bringing Achilles armour which has been restructured so often that it has no relationship with the original.

Have started to gesso two large canvases, want to use notes from London for a huge pic that I suspect I must just DO and hang it all, the paracticalities and the expence. Two large canvas at 40 euros each (linen) for a pic that will be at best gloomy. Unsaleable and unstorable and not even started.

And the vellum I was stretching has dried wibbly and will have to be redone.

4th decemeber 2013 weds

 Glory be, back in the studio! Mostly trying to clear up/ find out where things are, but have repainted this pic to my final satisfaction. Last finished in April, I think. Thoroughly like it.
Having a local show after christmas so pulling things together for that. Can exhibit some of the odd ones that aren't in series but are OK - no need to be coherent for the Casino in Alet les Bains:)
Below, vellum is being damped and stretched. Its a drum skin too damaged by being hit hard to repair. The drummers bleed, Im told - the skin is magic, can't wait to see where it leads and WANT MORE (it was a gift from Margaret who has a source)