29th Sept 2014

I reckon its finished but we'll see how the paint settles; was fiddling unnecessarily so have moved it to Bobs living room to dry. Its a bit too spooky. Its a bit jejunne. It may be plain daft. But it does all I want it to do.

26 sept 2014

Been working well - may even have finished the death chalice one. Dreamed of turning it upside down and when I did the images of Stafford and Simon apeared either side. That did it. I didnt have a relationship with the thing, just found it fascinating, so its a good resolution. The thought of it has sustained me; to be precise, the heft of it. I like the shape and weight of it. Nice to carry. Anyway, Im in Avignon and the thought of it is sustaining (though Im v glad I dont have photos - its spell would surely loosen.)
Begun the cigars and humidor, thats shaping well.
Here in Avignon till Sunday, to meet with Dick Allen from Farnham days. Hes shown me his drawings today, dense complex surface-driven studies - most interesting - and hes given me one I particularly like, which is generous of him. Interesting talk. He is attracted by the idea of the odilisque which goes unquestioned as hes a chap. He hires a model, dresses and bejewells her, works in 4 hour stretches. Plus takes photos which he uses. Introduces her at expos.
He thinks he has to do 5,000 hours drawing to perfect his technique and he may be right, seems a lot of time at our age in life to repeat yourself. But little by little he changes and develops; don't think I could work at that pace, I search for great leaps and sulk if I dont get them.
Last night dreapt I'd drawn on the walls of the appartment we are staying in, with oil pastel, wax crayon and charcoal. Impossible to wash off or paint over. Such a relief to wake up and discover it wasnt so! Mostly it was of crowds of people, nicely done, plus one abstract section. In my dream our landlady ( a blues singer called Kat) liked the stuff but was only being polite.

16 09 2014

This is finished. Nothing else is and the drawings (of Ryan) yesterday were dreadful. Need to do some serious thinking and soon, at that. But this projected series of nature mortes, featuring the treasure of my familys' dead, gives me comfort. The one here a pleasure and a relief to do - Staffords grandfathers pipe rack, made by him for his father, Staffords sherry decanter, the easel of his mother, given to him and thence to me on my 12th birthday. Exorcism.

13 09 2014 Saturday

Bed at 9.00, wide awake at midnight :) Good time to look at the work and reassess. Its much better in the night.
Ive used too much oil, can't for the life of me think why. Will try and scrub it back with turps and hope it balances out without drying and crumbling.
Anxious to start the Chalice and Knife one today - tempted to write notes on the Decanter and Carving. Maybe.
Also today will try and get the sleep sorted into something sensible. I seem to be either always asleep or always awake; maybe attached to a virus and funny throat. Lalala.

12 092014 friday

 Ploughing on - the sense of the rythym of work is returning, soooooooo tiring! Trying (easily) not to think, just doing it.

10 09 2014 Tuesday

Spent most of yesterday weeping in front of the crappy work. Ate a lot, slept well, today cracking on. Its still crappy though.

09092014

Drawing! Kelly modelling. If I'd had time to think about it I'd have been fretful but as is now usual there is no time for anything. To the extent that when I left there was no chance to select equipment so I grabbed the cheap pads of coloured paper I'd bought for visiting kids and the Disney Princess oil pastels.
OOh I do love colour. The tyranny of line forgot. Results are very Jan Pienkovski -  dear man, Im not slagging him but appreances were all and that is what entices with colour. Slip-shod, slap-dash, ridiculous drawing but such fun...