--read a phrase about an 'inner critic' and thought, hmmm, thats whats suffocating me. Constant evaluation is essential in practicing work but outside of the activity its not obligatory.
Went happily drawing yesterday - Clare modelling, shes such a pleasure - thinking these thoughts.
Then stood way way back. If I'd seen them in a show what would I have thought?
And lo! There were half a dozen that I would have been captivated by. Albeit briefly.
Now going through some old paintings with that same head. I'm at a show - know nothing about the work or the artist - its a good way to view especially as I seem to be capable of forgetting things after they're done with a ruthless thoroughness. However; when I spot a flaw - as in, Why is that (insert ....) so (insert...) then I can recall the answer, the route that led to that solution. But I don't know if its a success. Its only inevitable.
Inner critic still sitting on my face. Sigh. At least I can sit in the studio without asthma attack for a short while now.
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