24th April 2015, Friday

Bob has converted the garage into a gallery! Im blown away by it. Hes made - or caused Ryan to make, to be accurate - a series of frames covered in black that blank out the bulk of the (very large) garage, painted the walls white and battoned them. Hes going to put in extra lighting and Im trying to think of a name for it.
Will open for the 'Off' at the Artistes a Suivre, possibly before the florilege on 14th May.
Have moved a deal of paintings from the studio and of course the garage is where the bulk of my work is stored, so theres far too much stuff there already. Will select and hang.

Max suggested The National Gallery of Esperaza.

21st April, Tuesday 2015

Ive been overdoing it - getting up at 5.00 and trying to get as many hours in as I can before the days' claims.
Im tierd and not having fun and making mistakes.

19 th April 2015 Sunday

So like this drawing, done from an eagle dream. 

Its become clear that in the dream the old order, heroic and ruling and successful, is bound and tied and impotent except by permission, granted because of its splendor. The new beautiful eagle arrives... too young but alive, in place.

Began a bust of Simon at Ediths, building up the clay from the inside, little lump by lump. After two hours it was nearly finished. I worked fantatsically fast as the clay demanded it - and it was drying quickly - at the end I was shaking. Not an easy operation but very much one I was called to.

Painting pretty un accomplished though it continues well. Im working just after dawn till about 9.30 or whenever Im disturbed. Can hardly tell my guest that I wont have breakfast with him. Also getting in a little hour or so before dinner so really not bad, its the lack of continuum thats disturbing. But its not that disturbing, I carry the picture in my head when Im not there and see what to do next. So no excuses :)

15 4 15 Weds

First of the Dead paintings... harder than one would suppose, mentally bisecting. Gives a good space for technique and avoids distress. Working on Yona now, next Simon (when undercoat dries.) Couple of good big drawings done from dreams, pleased. Off to walk to clear head (coughing in my sleep last night, very tiring)

14th april, tuesday 2015

couple of marvellously quiet days... can only work in short bursts, have to rest betweentimes, but it can be done.

Great dream; my totem eagle there but hooded, with jesses trailing. Looked magnificent, not diminished. Red, black, brown, gold, diamonds. He gave me another bird, a brilliant blue eagle. It went to sleep on my arm, trusting, safe. Dunno what thats all about except Im happy with the direction Im taking.

Tried a large drawing, awful, will have another go tomorrow.

Thought I'd finished the first of the 'dead' portraits but that was the coffee talking. Will be able to tweek to complete tomorrow.

13 04 2015 monday

Started over the weekend, the series clear in my mind, the methodolgy not. Fairly happy with it on Saturday. Sunday, hmm. Today can't get in the studio for fear of it all though will, this evening. Have cancelled the planned activity (film in Limoux) and will feel the opportunity lost if I dont go and work. If you see what I mean- loss of pleasure to create opportunity which must therefore be taken. Easier to have spent the day in the studio but you have to sneak up on these things, it seems.
Feel quietly confident.

9 April 2015

Sticking my neck out and saying (again) that this is finished. Its called War Games and I've done it to death. And a bunch of new ideas are bouncing that I want to realise...
Tomorrow being the first of his birthdays that my brother Simon isnt alive for, I'm taking the day out in Carcassonne for lunch with Max to celebrate his life. Saturday is spent in Ediths atelier and a friend visits in the afternoon. Sunday is market day. Alors, the new regime commences on Monday. Calmly excited.

04042015 sat

..finished, perhaps, the leaping men - now called War Games. Will see, tomorrow or next week.

In the meantime a charming moment when translating for friends to help sort builders and insurance after a flood; did the biz with the builder and showed him the paperwork which I'd signed for the householders who are part timers. He said, but you are Vanilla Beer.
He collects my work :) Has three, loves them, has never met me and claimed that Im a celebratry. (cant even spell it -)

Very cheering

01 04 2015 Weds

Yesterday after a tough time with the jumping men pic, talked to Max who hangs out with literary types. His question; When did you first loose control of your characters?
 Realised that I gave up control when I decided to hold onto the Kitaj figure. In my head Ive always thought that the bit you love in your painting has to be destroyed at least twice. This time I refuse :) Have been re-centralising it.
It was going quite well but constant interuptions, pointless and infuriating ones. Madness beckons. Bob is here with his attentant sense of urgency and helplessness ('where is...?')
Retrain, again, and breathe deep.