28 01 2021

 Hideously hard work to arrive at this so far somewhat kitch image, an attempt at beauty and the beast following a sensational dream - this a v poor response to it. It's lingering still so maybe tomorrow will have a go.

26 01 2021

 Finished the bird and snake pic which is generally not v interesting. I snapped it on the easel with the palette making as if the catch the snake too and that was far more engaging. Sigh.

25 01 2021

 Assuming, and why not, that these fallow times have their reasons. Certainly ideas are stirring.  

20 01 2021

 Discovered why I've felt so ill :) And hello to Thanatos.

Mixed up my daily drugs and for the last month not been taking blood pressure stuff but have been taking double cholesterol meds. I'd realised that my heart had got back to a stage where I was years ago, flipping and flickering all over the shop, with attendant cough, and had decided not to seek medical aid but to let nature take its course, hoping it wouldn't hurt much. Bleedin drama queen.

Drugs sorted now I realised the problem so death held off  bit longer. Apropos, old chum Keith Denning has died - causing a haunted and sleepless night last night. Asbestos related, poor boy -

Still not painting, not writing either. Happily pottering. Steeling myself to deal with W Prang. Trying to view it as a work of philosophy, hoping this'll help me manage it better. Record on radio ballade just now; tell me something I don't know. Good maxim.

18 01 2021

 Turns out I'm ill, I think - which accounts for the last few days distress. Not much more sinister than a cold. Yesterday the asthma was massive and this has been getting harder and harder; Bob stopped burning wood and that's eased it a lot. Having to sit by an open window in the studio in the cold will have brought on the sneezing and runny nose, thick head and knackeredness. Still got taste and smell though and ravenously hungry so fairly normal stuff. 

14 01 2021

 Done sod all for days. Scrubbed out 5 painting with relief, I couldn't resolve any of them an there comes a time....

Now find myself on the brink of illustrating and editing an unpublished book of my Pa's. Its not an easy thing since the intended audience veers between children and mathematicians and its a spiritual/tantric guide book. In fact I may be bonkers to deal with it. Have signed no contract.

10 01 2021

This little thing taking shape nicely, which is more that can be said for the other pix on the go. Really should stop and clean up. Found my Hertha! In the wood pile in the garden. Was about to post a photo but its not properly finished and I found a reluctance in me to reveal an object that I regard as sacred. Or will regard as such, perhaps. No it is already in place, identified, revealing itself slowly.

08 01 2021

got an hour before sunset and made it to the riverbank, thnking Id just pick up my Hertha - of course it wasnt that simple, don't know why I thought it would be. This is clearly going to be a long search.Started to paint about it later. Today,however, Im outahere. Bus to Carcassonnee, wander somewhere else.

07 01 2021

Yesterday rubbish, even fiddling slight - various interuptions but basically the drive is low. A couple of small acrylics arrived from Bernard and they are sensational - he has gone from strength to strength, which is kind of depressing for me that hasnt. Anyway. Visit from Philippe who kindly checked over the french on my french blog - only ONE mistake! - that at least encouraging. Have a creeping obsession now for what I think is an Hertha - a wooden idol, dressed and bi-jewelled - saw many in India and want to make one. Which means hitting the river bank and collecting drift wood, for starters. Alas, today spoken for; Ian to social in Quillan, thence visit to the house Vina wants to buy sight unseen, then the infirmiere for Bob. Give me something to think about.

05 01 2021

Something horrid has happened to my blogs whereby I cant see the pictures, onlu computer code. Yummy. I really need a challenge of this sort. Anyway, think Ive posted three pix, two of which are finished. More anon., perhaps

05 01 2021

 Lovely snow-light, lots of time... started day reading Freud, perhaps a mistake :) But the whole day clear until Bob has to go for treatment this afto. OK, the morning clear. Better get on then.

04 01 2021

 Fiddling with this thing again, the hot breath of the aesthetic on my neck - and, more pleasingly, the paint is behaving oddly which gives me more opportunities. Still capable of wild pleasure playing with the transparent shiny colours and the traditional ones. Never quite predictable.

Its snowing!! Which means the domestic tasks outlined for the day are unachievable and I am granted studio time.. . slightly sombre days; my cousin Tevor Rose has died, Ians brother Mick Bolton also - both in the early hours of the new year. In bed, peacefully. 

02 01 2021

 Bit of watercolour at the park st Bertrand, severely curtailed by cold. Dressed up for the weather, hatted and gloved, but have to have fingertips out to paint and it was those that actually hurt. Was wearing mittens. Perhaps I can find my silk ski gloves to go under them... hoping to get to the lake at Arques today.

Never mind the output. It was just great to respond to a view rather than make things up. I've been dredging my sub/un/underthang consciousness for so long that I'm really bored with myself. Not sure that whatever is milling about in me are proper subjects. Plan to do many drawings 'authentic'  before I get back to canvas.

And throw things away. There is too much stuff in this house. Like my un/sub conscious.