31 03 2021

 ...rather pleased with myself as the flame picture suddenly got resolved. I think. It may have to do. Or maybe it should be destroyed yet again, though it does have many elements that work - or nearly.

Fitted that in between times yesterday as a long lunch up Mt Marot took up much of the day. Useful in that the mountain is opposite Rennes les chateau and the outline of the rocks around it was fairly visible. Gracie taking me up there tomorrow - plan to start at the track of off the chemin des Sougranes which I know, but get on to the peak which I've never been to where there are allegedly dolmens. According to Boudet. Then into the forest. Perhaps the Salz source as well, if the time works out. 

Incapable of anything today though will have a bash at the saints. Going to get my carte de sejour remade, the post brexit version. Nervous as a school girl waiting outside rev mothers study. Being taken by two neighbours whose appointments flank mine, most conveniently. Authority always makes me feel sick, literally.

29 03 2021

 Looking at my drawings, I'd put money on the petroglyphs being star maps. It's not what the marks are, it's where they are in relation to each other and then I guess where the stones  are placed. The RlC one has been moved many times and anyway is getting worn away. Need yet more ...

Plastic printer man charges 100 e per hour consultancy and doesn't sound too thrilled at being asked to make a couple of copies of the purifier. Back boiler for that one.

No texts for Saints done. Miserable job. But have prepared 6 wood panels for something interesting and have a clearer idea of the flame picture. 

28 03 2021

 Did more interpretations of the mask/ petroglyphs theme, ok but lalala... 

Thought about a 3 d-printer to make some evaporators as there is one going cheaply locally but life is too short to learn another complex skill. If I knew where the water purifiers were going and if I knew they could be made cheaply, that might be another thing. But not right now.

Need; new portfolio, some Japanese tissue, a car and driver. In the meantime, the painting of the flame is orrible. But Horrid. The flame itself wasn't just hot and all-consuming, it was exploring me - slicing layer by layer (perhaps like a 3-d printer? Maybe that's where that odd desire came from) May have to just junk it, beyond my skill.

27 03 2021

 Using wax to make the petroglyph-type mark - drawn from the Rennes les Bains stone - then watercolour and black shoe polish. Smells lovely. Work rather slight. Need more petroglyphs. 

Though, hey-ho, so what? Moved onto Khandi paper, did a fossil series on that which I thought worked. Didn't lend gravitas in this case. Hard paper to work, for all its ostensible beauty.

Will hunt out a HP white rag paper, should do the trick. See if the idea is pushable.

26 03 2021

 ...been so annoyed by the discarded masks in the streets. They wont break down for an age - elastic metal paper - and in the night I realised this was the last blast of the anthropocene which puts it at the other end of the timescale of the petroglyphs. Obv time to try to marry the two. Smacks of drawing but will ponder.

Managed some more saint texts between times yesterday, not many to go - 7 I think- 

Very drawn to water sources. normal human stuff.

La Serpent

Alet les Bains

25 03 2021

 Saints still not done despite an entire day full of sunshine spent crouched over machine in the dark... taking today off. Dawning on me that even when the basic texts are finished the re-write, which holds it together and makes sense of the whole thing, is away away. No matter. The world can wait. Ha.

Invited to Alet-les-bains for a picnic and that'll do well. I know of no petroglyphs there but it was Cathar central in the day. 

24 03 2021

 Square eyed with computer stuff and still, saints unfinished. Can't remember how many I did yesterday. Chief problem - and how classic - is that all my notes were sealed into notebooks that were put into a glass case and sealed as an installation. The books exist still, in London, but sealed. (Bit like the dog ate my homework) And so I have to do retrospective research which takes time and has its own difficulties. The sites I use are perforce christian, devotional, unreliable. Or Wikip, who are brisk. Began this stuff in 2016 and in five years a lot of the sources are changed or missing.

But... little by little.  No urgency.

Bob was going to La Serpent so I hitched a ride in the lateish afternoon. Such a strange place. Once bought a little crucifix there (vide grenier), made of brass stamped with roses and wound with a snake. The place is named after the winding approach road (La Serpent, not Le -) Tried to get to the church but closed - I guess as the churches are the property of the commune, they can't afford its upkeep. Pretty crumbly.

22 03 2021

 Probably unkindly, I'm blaming the good Abbe Boudet for my failure to deal with the saints. Only managed to finish half the texts - around 20 to go - and they will need editing. Been doing them carefully and checking sources and getting waylaid, instead of just fleshing out an exhausted project; because I've been re-reading Boudet, without my cynical hat.

Square eyed - stopping. Computers don't suit my body type.

21 03 2021

 Et voila.... started on the project that has to be called The Quest, because the whole thing is a mystery and can only be dealt with by the pure in heart. Ahem.

Got to Rennes le Chateau, found the stone which is very deteriorated by being moved, weathered and scratched. I do hope I have earlier photos of it somewhere. Thence to Rennes les Bains over the top road, stopping to look at stuff. Glorious; such silence, such waiting, so welcoming. Have a decent sense of development growing.

But today will try to finished The Saints - can't leave that undone at this time or it'll never be completed. Which after getting Roland to do the (excellent) photos, seems daft.

Bought this 1 euro ring in Madrid yonks ago, it's (allegedly) celtic, old rolled metal, battle scarred. 

19 03 2021

 Haven't mentioned that I was in the running for a commission - in case I jinxed it.

Heard yesterday that I have got it and a deal of dosh is in my account to prove it. Find I'm in a curious state of physical shock, though thrilled and delighted.

The project is too complicated for me to go into here, I have my notes and my ideas. About go to the newsagents and buy a new notebook to document the process - the funder is technophobic.

Dug out a load of relevant ish books from my vast collection, in this instance on archeology. Need to buy at least one that I'm familiar with, that doesn't have an on-line presence. 

Weird, eh.

14 03 2021

 This is turning into a medical diary. Had a strong reaction to the covid vaccine and have spent two days laid up. Truly awful. Joints aching horribly, headache nightmare, shiveringsweats. The full thing, rather than a little shot of it, must be unimaginably bad. 

Unless I've hallucinated it, I've been offered a commission which is potentially exciting. I have reminded myself that I'm against commissions but this is so open ended and touches many things I've been wanting to work on.

Getting the basic proposals out tomorrow, health permitting.

12 03 2021

 -at least getting some changes made. Studio in chaos, now have a corset affair to keep back working while I schlepp stuff. 

Thrown out all the plastic virgins - all the moulds, latex and vynamold- catalogues damaged by the damp that has taken up residence behind the large shelves. They are all now empty and awaiting Bob to take them away.

Some stretchers have gone, thinking about junking frames. Bits of my past being torn away. More little deaths.

07 03 2021

 ...nothing doing, on account of seized up back. That's OK (apart from the pain-) been lying on the studio bed and reading and plotting. Reminded me of being fecund when my periods were so ghastly I'd have to rest up three days a month. Actually (apart from  the pain) a useful time of reflection and planning.

All my plans are practical and involve cleaning out the studio. Which is what caused the problem in the first place, lifting heavy things. Will endeavour to carry on but in smaller bits.