30 05 2025

 One of my drugs in particular - prescribed, of course - if  doubled up, makes a massive difference. I know this now because I took the bus to Carcassonne yesterday, walked about, came back and was fine. Slow but fine. It was Ascension Thursday, a bank holiday and the place was deserted. The few places open soon closed down. No traffic, no pollution, so hardly a test.

Today got taken in a car to the local lake. Prepared for the event by doubling the dose. Temps 32 degrees and I walked carrying lunch, a back pack and a carrier bag. Don't know how to measure the distance but it felt like miles- and I did it. Coming back, alas, another story. I'd further walked to the fishing lake to get some daphnia and that plus the return trip nearly killed me.  

Yet still I linger :)

Hardly a work diary nowadays, though all this feels like work. Book still selling. Want to draw trees by the lake.

23 05 2025

 Went from a keep fit class of great if gentle horridness, to a party - where, despite increased drugs, had some sort of asthma event and had to leave. Training programme not going too well.

22 05 2025

 In view of failing lungs, have been experimenting with increasing my drugs so that I can function effectively.

On Tuesday took the bus on my own to Carcassonne and walked around for 2 hours as a training exercise. Slightly cheating, as the rain kept pollution down and smokers indoors, but managed quite well on only 2 extra Ventolin puffs. 

Plan to do this weekly, upping the town each time. 

18 05 2025

 Weird, the things you find out. I was demonstrating the joys of ai to a non-believer and asked Gemini to do my portrait in the style of Rembrandt. Nothing easier. But the machine couldn't find a photo of me!

Instead it did a lengthy biography from many sources concluding that a still should be taken from a video.

There are photos of me in a file somewhere, hard copies. Apart from fun with ai, can't really see the sense of bothering to scan them - and then realised, people used to photograph me all the time until I turned old. Pity. The old is far more interesting.

17 05 2025

 Memory: l was a disconsolate child, crying for some reason, in a restaurant of some sort. On a journey with the parents, probably to the coast to visit family.  A waitress crouched beside me and showed me how to make a chalice out of silver paper - 

making things has been my go-to ever since.

13 05 2025

 Painting dreadful indeed; been channelling my inner Chagall after reading Sufi stories. l have no genuine ownership of them and it shows. 

Fretting over this and other issues, wandered around town and in the street library found Chagalls autobiography! in French of course with poorly reproduced black line drawings. Marvellous.

08 05 2025

 Second day of painting and very odd it is too. Had to clean up first and have no memories of the woman who left all this debris; don't recognise (hardly) anything. The only canvas around that was the right size had a crap painting on it so I primed, sized and generally disposed of it. Most liberating.

Painting is dreadful but it'll change. 

01 05 2025

Hommage a Kitaj #6, a reference to the few weeks recently when my nose was like a tap. Just wouldn't stop. Scared to go out. Then I read that temperature changes could do it and the trick is to vaseline your nose against the shock of change and so I did, shiny greasy nose instead of a bloody one. Worked.  

Drawings judged acceptable for the math book, now have to wait for the authors to write more text to complete. Since they are both full-time academics I don't have to hold my breath.