18april thurs

There will be no work today and a good thing too- yesterday was continuing the painting of four small nudes bases on drawings that were chosen because they were the right shape - as good as reason as any - and was overwhelmed by distress. One of them, a drawing of Ian where the ink had run and made him into a sort of bull ant, morphed into my dreaming of the night before: trying to get out into a garden where an animal was tethered with a collar and long silver chain, just long enough to smell the v beautiful flowers but not to get at them. Exclusion and imprisonment chief themes. So this ant/bull is sitting behind bars, making a cats cradle or twiddling its thumbs, with an air of dejection and dolourness so strong that l had to stop.
Today being Thursday and housework, people for lunch, French lesson, person for dinner, means avoiding the studio though l confess l'd quite like to look....