Nov 26th Monday

Drawing, it being Monday; Ceri modelling. Haven't been for the last few weeks due to absence and accidents. Found it an unusual pleasure though struck by a couple of things...en route, took a coffee with Olle-Bendik and whilst in the cafe met Yvonne. Said we were off drawing; she said, but you can already draw, why do you have to do it again??? No need to answer that one but the refrain stayed with me as I worked and realised that the other artists had refrains batting about their heads too, just out of ear-shot - a bunch of neurotics chattering away to ourselves. Calm and contented until the end when things took a turn and started to go really well - I felt that suspension as something else begins to arrive, breathes down your neck - which was when Pierre began to prowl and peer noisily over shoulders not reaching me but inducing a state of actual terror which blew all the rest away.
Which came first? Do I become available to interruption and invoke the *muse* or does the muse attract the interruption? Very conscious and carried on despite ferkkin up the page terribly. Must learn a way of  dismissing self-sabotage. It could be a function of the panic of time - there are only 2 hours in the session. If there were a lot more, it might be OK. My concentration shouldn't be so frail.