10th sept 2012

Perfect weekend, enjoyable, relaxing; with glad heart I made it to breakfast in the cafe this morning before going to draw at the MJC. Nessim was going to model and he's a pain but I often get good results from having to deal with whatever it is about him that is annoying on a particular day - like, normally he's just snotty because he knows hes a better artist than us, which is fair enough, but other times its other things. Today he was both stroppy and playful, refusing to pose as asked and doing other poses instead, etc. Began by farting around between poses so instead of a continuous and concentrated flow there was a staccato effect which got increasingly frustrating. Julian stormed out eventually leaving a cloud of anger behind him. I could barely talk through my gritted teeth.

Bloody model more interested in himself  than tool of artist. He is PAID to model.

Was  reminded of myself as a young painter - 19-odd - attacking a man called Gary with a palette knife because he kept messing about whilst modeling. Recall I was frighted by my violence and spent subsequent years suppressing and redirecting this type of frustration. Find now I am awash with anger.

Trying to calm myself I had used a very light pencil, 3H, and tried to keep my marks without distinction of depth. So I learnt that - its a good way to focus on the line. I always try to add too many tones - as I try to use too much colour - something learnt.

Afterwards, full of  frustrated drawing energy, I took myself up Rue Dr Clot with a knapsack of sandwiches, water, a portable stool, paper, ink, watercolours, sunhat. Decided to grind the ink because its so calming.
  Managed from 1.30 till 4.00, came home and slept dead out till 6.00. Then carried on cleaning studio.

Lovely up there - views to Montazells, Couiza, various mountains. Got into a hedge so sun not too hot, comfortable with my back to the hedge, no-one around. Except Tony, whom I met on the walk up, all quiet. Felt better. Landscapes change but delightfully and not because they have set their will against yours... (I don't think)

Got person to service the studio heating tomorrow but hope to return to the mountains tomorrow - would like to try working from the top of the Butte St Helene. Views over the world. Now red wine is calling.