Doubt and uncertainty are my handmaidens... not touched the Survivors Souvenirs, overwhelmed by indecision.
Went life drawing yesterday, a girl so young she had few feminine features. She played music throughout the 2 hour session, tinkly girly stuff which turned out to be from a Japanese film track. Rather good :) But its so long since I've worked fast, my hands ached and still do rather (though not badly) Anyway - I try not to be judgemental whilst working, if you are aiming to discover something unknown then censoring with the already known is not useful. ...There was no getting way from the fact that the results are crap.
Today is the ophthalmologist, an appointment I've waited three months for. Feels rather festive. Put on a frock.
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Back from Ophthalmologist. Cataracts; they are operating on one eye in late August, the next early September. Other issues too, for which meds. Have dates for the ops., for an eco something, for a heart man and for an anaesthetist. In deep shock and trembling with terror. Visceral, I know these people mean me no harm and if I leave things they will deteriorate. But terrified.
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