Thank heavens for Mondays - I was saying to Tim in the break at this morning drawing how much I valued the sessions and how good it was to leave the studio. Yes, and join the real world, said Tim. We both looked about and cracked up laughing:) --- A dozen or so artists with varying levels of rationality, looking at Nessim who is bizarre on every level.
Trying to be patient with N who it transpires is fatally ill. Alas. He wasn't too bad today, he'd been told to behave and apart from an outbreak of giggling toward the end managed fairly well. The drawings were OK - just OK - had thought to use carbons and work blind but couldn't find the box; instead worked carefully. Rather a pleasure, the scratch of a hard pencil on toothy paper... used ink too, not too well, a lot ended on my legs but as my trousers are black it doesn't matter. Just wet.
Have spent the rest of today and the weekend working doggedly on a painting I know to be bad, worthless, without any meaning or interest for me - its horrible, kitch, badly arranged (an image from the carnival, just a carnivaliste - Ive got three on the go)- I'm protesting throughout the process and don't know why I persist except its what I do. On the plus side realised that there is a relationship with St Micheal - well, not really - there's a stick, the carnival baton - and an invisible demon. Tried to find some way of making the demon work; can't. Interested now in taking the cannon of the saints and subjecting them to the same mythos Ive been handling in the classical world. To this end reading Malcom Bull, Gods in the Mirror of Antiquity and its amazing reading though I'm not very far in (small print - shouldn't buy cheap paperbacks, sigh.) Also rather annoyed by it as my hero Lorenzo the M hasn't been getting enough praise, as yet. But I have hopes. That Lorenzo will be lauded and that I'll learn something that will serve as a trigger.
Theres a terrible stillness in me, no energy. Not exactly knackered but sleepwalking. Not enough air in my lungs nor beats in my heart. Another early night?? Think I'II find a DVD and watch something, take my mind off stupid painting. After Ive done another hour or so tonight.
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