Monday 7 January 2013

mon jan 7th 2013

Wow no post since last year... and no work. Illness and Christmas, illness and no parties, illness and new year. Just about through it all. Only a jumped-up cold that went bronchial. For a while I thought I was drowning and afterwards couldn't stop coughing, vomiting. No fever and good appetite, but sleeping a 14 hour day.Weird. Unpleasant. Better but a bit coughy and still prone to sleeping.

In some of that time realise still in mourning for my father. So then prone to crying. It wasn't a helpful time, sometimes dreams and images appear that can lead the way but this wasn't a useful period. A rest maybe and an acknowledgement of loss.

Couldn't concentrate to read much. Managed the Correspondence of Berthe Morrisot; in 1890; in a letter to her sister Edma, she wrote "...worst of all, I am approaching the end of my life and yet I am still a mere beginner. I feel myself to be of little account and this is not an encouraging thought".  (p.179) She has a horrible time and I found a deal to compare with my miseries, the difficulties and set backs of being an artist. Then at some point she says how her mother thinks she's mad, doesn't like her work, etc etc. Mothers! Mine was the same. Not even disapproval, ignored and dismissed. Wonder if that's the root of the self-limiting issues.

Nearly ready to re-start - cleaning houses and studios in preparation. Etching press set up; some monoprints done, using clear acetone. Quite interesting route as can be placed over drawings and painted on, had fun with drawing and printing binoculars. Still familiarizing myself with the techniques of printing.Sorting out the press, the space. Love the smell....

Drawing this morning, used Chinese ink, ready mixed. Fabienne modeled. Usual suspects drawing, Giles, Jean-Noel, Jim, Olle-B., Kat, a french woman whose name Ive forgotten but is something to do with the Artistes a Suivre. Two hours flew away in seconds, not enough time. Some are usable, I think.

In between trying to clean the studio have dabbled at the circe painting which is a mess but getting some notions. The marriage of symbolism and naturalism is uncomfortable. Need to unify the ideas, never mind the composition.

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