Went to the studio firing on all cylinders, unexpectedly, just after daybreak - changed the horsefly radically, painted out the (very nice) moon and put the spoon in a bottle.
Now, of a sudden, there is an entry for the tocques et clochers art show (an annual event with big prizes, open entry, quality ranging from bad to dreadful; theme, roughly, wine). Ive exhibited there for three or four years now and always my work has looked dreadful in the bad company. I live in hope of making something that will shine as decent. Many of my friends are there; Sami who does meticulously beautiful spirit-women that one would expect to shine, Kat who does lively and well-informed work, Kate who does moody (Morandi only darker)bottles, etc etc. Everyone looks like crap. Weird. Though sometimes the very naif amateurs look ok.
Having established that this is what the painting is for, I couldn't decide if this had been my intention all along and as soon as I'd finished felt sick, violently vomity sick. Wasn't, it passed, but it made me think about commerciality and so on - old fears of purism and livihood battles that you'd think had been dealt with by now. La la.
Need to do some work on the arm, perhaps. Oh and the spoon must dry and get redone very very well. Bubbles???
Otherwise everything too wet to handle and the king picture is bloody dreadful.
Bomberg keeps passing through my mind. I remember reading that he didn't know what to paint and his wife proposed flowers, which lead to that wonderful translucent red series. Its not the flowers though- perhaps the Jewish themes, because of the old testament stuff Im looking at - mainly interested that someone so very capable didnt know what to do.
Cleaning up now, have to do dinner.
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