Back at work, allegedly. Drew this morning, Fabienne modelling; crit followed. Didn't take work to be criticized thinking I'd use what ever I produced since my direction is, hmm, flawed- found that the knowledge that what I made would be viewed was making it all dinky, over reacted, got louche. Didn't get to express what was going wrong for me - that, for instance, the methods for not keeping control have become controlled- that my awareness of the prospective use of the drawing was messing it up in advance. Said I was getting mired in it all which is accurate. (Got enough studies to wallpaper the house, even more probably, and can't find anything to work with.) O-B told me I over worked my paintings and shouldn't. I think I should, kill the good bits at least twice. So that didn't get us very far.
From the others work I learned that it might be good to use an easel, that the work might stand alone, that it might be publishable.
Apropos; fantastic surprise a couple of days ago when the bridgeman arts library put a large sum of money into my bank account as royalty payments - seems they've been selling prints of my food paintings. Totally thrilled - always thought they were posters and intended that they should be sold in repro. Cant see the new stuff working like that though , too over-worked LOL
Afternoon in the studio. The Daniel in smelter painting is terrible and is also inaccurate - I thought Id honestly retold the drawings but in fact I had bent them a tad to fit my idea. Shocked at myself for not knowing. Corrected the figures and then though WHY BOTHER and have turned it to the wall. Sneaking feeling I'm about to do something decorative with it, so wont.
I'm scraping the barrel with a slight notion now. I had thought that to inform myself by responding to a model or idea without having control of the method would open doors - and so it did. Now the door is wide; what next?? Wheres the next way through?
All this supposes that there is somewhere to go, some deeper 'truth' to be learned. Perhaps this is my error.
I have a few clear days. Propose to draw, just things or landscape if weather permits. Just straight drawing. Cleanse the palette.
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